Current mood:

satisfied

Mmmmm.... Sandwiches
It’s now been 6 weeks, and I am officially out of material. The well has dried up. We expect Saturday will bring plenty of newfound inspiration, but until then I’m regressing back to my senior year of high school (and most of college as well), and will engage in the timeworn practice called “coasting.”

So today I offer up the following, a new parent Mad Lib, the shell of which was graciously donated by the Straus family of Albany, New York, and completed by the lovely and talented Sarah Straus. The title is: Preschool Prep

“You haven’t enrolled 50 Cent in preschool prep school yet?” my neighbor asked grossly, then added, “He’s already 2 years old, dear. The other little stars were enrolled the day they were brought into the cartoon.” Indeed, all the other kids on the block had prepared auditions for the Academy of St. Cartman Preschool Prep School for the Gifted and Fat. Jimmy from up the street was going to play “Eyes” on the piano. Hazel from around the corner was going to dance the balled “Mud Lake.” And Eugene next door was going to show the computer he built out of small giraffes. Excitingly concerned, I asked my son what he would like to do for his audition, and he responded by sticking a monkey up his nose. I think preschool prep is something we may have to forego unless the school is willing to accept a kid who sneezes monkeys.

How ya like them apples? There is one item to share with you today. Asella received her first soccer lesson, which mainly consisted of me sticking a soccer ball in her face while she tried to get it in her mouth.



Not a bad start for an 8 month old, but we still have plenty of work to do. Tomorrow I’m going to explain the offsides trap and the difference between a fair charge and shoulder to shoulder contact. Since Real Madrid is always on the TV here, we’ll have about a week for her to watch and learn to bend it like Beckham, finesse it like Figo, and shoot it like Solari.



Asella did have a very nice outfit on today (no, really, she did) and was very well behaved. I fed her about 4 pounds of ground beef an carrots, and she gobbled it all up like a champ. Though she did keep whipping her head around to look at people while I tried to give her the glass of milk, leaving her face looking like a milk council ad gone terribly awry. Our fine selection of music in the nursery today: Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall, Part II.” Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone. Asella got pudding because she ate all her meat. Sarah is ineligible to receive pudding. Mmmm… Pudding.